Grossing out the grandchildren. Hey there, Granny Pearl here and well gee it has been an eventful couple of days in the Bryant household. So much has been happening I'm not sure where I should start. I guess with me. I don't know what my daughter and grandson have been telling you about me but it's all a lie (except any bits that happened to be flattering in any way). All of a sudden recently my life has taken a huge turnaround. A good one though! You see I was getting a bit lonely for a man so I decided to call the matchmaker. Well it turns out me and Pamela (that's her name) got to talking so much that I forgot why I'd asked her there in the first place and invited her to dinner instead. Well one thing lead to another and I can't believe it but I am in love with the woman. Head over heels, butterflies in tummy love. And luckily it seems she feels the same way.
Granny Pearl and the matchmaker. In fact the other day after a bit of wooing and hooing (what!? I'm not that old... and anyway a woman has needs). I decided to propose to Pamela. I creaked down on one knee and the poor thing had no idea what I was doing... I think she thought I'd dropped a contact lense and was about to join me on the floor to have a look for it.
What are you doing on your knees you old biddy!? But I quickly pulled out a big shiny ring (actually I have to admit I won at the fairground but I think Pamela was touched nonetheless) and she soon knew what was happening. I guess most of her matchmaker jewellry is pretty junky so she didn't really mind. And she said yes! And moved in so we have a lot of people now in this little old house of ours.
Oooh shiny... say is that plastic? It has also been the twins big birthday. They hit their teens headfirst. I have to say I'm a bit sad to see them grow up and not have any little kids running around in the house anymore. Oh well... they've grown into such beautiful young women how can I complain.
The twins birthday.
I think Gloria wished to be a cowgirl... it's what she's always wanted to be. Except when she grew up all she seemed to talk about was boys, boys, boys. Oh dear... not another one in the family. It is hard enough with Tosh and their mum always rabbiting on about the opposite sex. Now Gloria wants to kiss all the boys in the neighbourhood.
I wish I was a cowgirl... the kind that kisses lots of boys. I really don't know what Shona wished for. That girl is so hard to read sometimes. I really wonder what is going on in that pretty little red head of hers.
Hmmm. I have to say it is kind of nice having three teenagers hanging around though. I mean you get a bit sick of talking little kid talk all the time (especially when Gloria was going on about being a cowgirl and how cowgirls are way better than fairies and pirates put together). Now we can have adult conversations about stuff like David Beckham's latest goal (and how nice his bum is which even Tosh seems to appreciate... hmmm).
Discussing Beckham's bum over pancakes. So Shona and Gloria trundled off to school the next day and I guess they knocked the socks of those boys. Especially Gloria... I told her that skirt was indecent but her mother said it was fine so of course what can I say. I just hope that girl doesn't follow the same path as her silly mother and get knocked up.
Shona on the bus. Shona: Fortune aspiration, LFT: Become Chief of Staff, Turn ons: swimmers and blonde hair, Turn off: grey hair.Hey boys... like my skirt? Gloria: Romance aspiration, LFT: Become celebrity chef, Turn ons: hats and black hair, Turn off: fatness.Speaking of their mother, Stella has been a bit sick lately. She say it's just some off prawns she ate but I am starting to have my suspicions.
It's just off prawns... please let it be off prawns. Speaking of young girls doing silly things it would seem that we had better keep both eyes on Gloria and that young Trent from next door.
This is not just a friendly hug. It seems they have embarked on an epic journey into the world of kissing together and I really think that is all they seem to do these days.
Love is in the air.
It seems like Gloria really likes it. I mean she spends half the night in the front garden practically mauling the poor boy. I have to say he doesn't seem that upset about it though.
This kissing thing is awesome... come here. Speaking of Stella and the "food poisoning" it would seem I have once again been proved right. I swear that girl is as fertile as a well-manured vegetable patch (if you will excuse me for saying such things about my daughter) or at least really stupid when it comes to the preventative arts. I don't even know which of the men she has been seeing is the father... I can only hope that she does. I felt a bit sorry for the silly thing though... the look on her face when she grew that bump was priceless.
Oh crud. What was it I was just saying about being sad about all the little ones growing up... I guess I shouldn't be with a new one on the way. Oh well... that's all for now... I guess I'll be talking to you all next time you care to pop your head in here.